Berkeley, Bureaucracy and the Great Spirit
Berkeley, bureaucracy and the Great Spirit
It seems that to get anything done one has to stand in line, wait on the
phone, or file excessive amounts of paperwork. Lately that's all I have seen
and experienced in Berkeley, CA. But I'm sure we all experience almost
As some of you know, the controversy at Pacifica Radio (Berkeley, CA.) is
one which is entangled in much bureaucracy and it's no longer just an issue
about 'freedom of speech.' It seems that in order to have a demonstration
one must produce various amounts of permits in order to express oneself in
an 'orderly fashion.'
Well, a friend of mine from Norwalk sent me this wonderful joke that
summarized bureaucracy for me. It is a conversation between Noah and the
Great Spirit. In it, I saw Berkeley, this state, this country and much of
I hope that you enjoy as much as I did. And I can't wait to hear your
reactions to it....
mexica tiahui (onward people of the sun),
PS- If you work for or are associated with one of the organizations listed
below please don't be offended... It is meant as a joke...
The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "Noah, in six months
I am going to make it rain until the whole world is
covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed.
But, I want to save a few good people and two of every
living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build
And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the
specifications for the ark. "OK," Noah said, trembling
with fear and fumbling with the blueprints, "I'm your
"Six months and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord.
"You better have my ark completed or learn to swim for
a long, long time!"
Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the
rain began to fall in torrents. The Lord looked down
and saw Noah sitting in his yard, weeping, and there
was no ark.
"Noah!" shouted the Lord, "where is My ark?" A lightning
bolt crashed into the ground right beside Noah.
"Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best,
but there were some big problems. First, I had to get a
building permit for the ark's construction, but your
plans did not meet their code. So, I had to hire an
engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long
argument with him about whether to include a fire-
"My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating
zoning ordinances by building the ark in my front yard,
so I had to get a variance from the city planning board.
Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the
ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to save
the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists
and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service that I needed the
wood to save the owls, but they wouldn't let me catch
them, so no owls."
"Next, I started gathering up the animals but got sued
by an animal rights group that objected to me taking
along only two of each kind. Just when the suit got
dismissed, the EPA notified me that I couldn't complete
the ark without filing an environmental impact statement
on your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the
idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of
a Supreme Being."
"Then, the Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the
proposed flood plan. I sent them a globe! Right now,
I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal
Opportunities Commission over how many minorities I'm
supposed to hire."
"The IRS has seized all my assets claiming that I am
trying to leave the country, and I just got a notice
from the state that I owe some kind of use tax. Really,
I don't think I can finish the ark in less than five
With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine,
and a rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked
up and smiled.
"You mean you are not going to destroy the world?"
he asked hopefully.
"No," said the Lord, "I am to late, the government
Teolol = Uto-Aztecan word, in Nahuatl, representing the number zero.
In western terminology the zero means nothing, however, in Uto-Aztecan the
word has a double meaning. It is both the balance of negative and positive
integers, and the balance of positive and negative forces.
One would compare it to the balance between the yin(g) and the
yan(g), the alpha and the omega, the night and the day, and finally the
light and the darkness.
Part of why I have left Los Angeles is in search of Teolol, in
search of balance and harmony.
Written by: Cesar A. Cruz